Now that everything's all over and done with, Miles has found himself struggling with new problems. Well, one problem. It should be easy enough to solve, but of course it isn't, even though it's finally not one involving the multiverse or anyone trying to kill him.
Miles is in love. Well, not in love. He's got a crush. Crushes. On two different people. That would be bad enough on its own if there weren't more problems attached to it.
"Fuck," he says, loud enough that Ganke punches his mattress from below. "Sorry. Just thinking."
"Think quieter," Ganke says, still playing that goddamn video game.
Miles tries to untangle the problem physically, shooting little spots of web onto the ceiling and poking them with his fingers to make them move around.
Fact one: He likes Gwen.
Fact two: Gwen is a girl.
Fact three: He's never had a crush on anyone before Gwen.
First conclusion: He's a boy, so this makes him straight.
Fact three: Gwen is a trans girl.
Fact four: Trans girls are girls.
Second conclusion: He's still straight. This is a gender-affirming crush.
Fact five: He likes Hobie.
Fact six: Hobie is a boy.
Fact seven: He likes Hobie differently than he likes Gwen. Maybe more.
Third conclusion: Hobie's a boy, so this makes him gay.
Fact eight: He's pretty sure he likes Gwen, even if it's a different kind of liking.
Fact nine: Gwen was assigned male at birth.
Fourth conclusion: If Miles is gay, and he likes Gwen, a trans girl, that makes him transphobic, right? Because that would mean he sees Gwen as a boy. And Gwen's not a boy.
When he first heard about Hobie, he thought he was going to have to compete against Hobie for Gwen's affection. Like some sort of love triangle thing. But now it seems like he's the centre of the love triangle. If either of them even like him like this. But that doesn't matter right now, because apparently he's gay and transphobic.
Yeah, he really doesn't like that fourth conclusion. "Goddamn it," he says, again. He's been untangling this problem intermittently since he's had time to realize it, and it always leads him back to the same place. But he thinks of Gwen as a girl, he's pretty sure. It was a bit confusing when she told him that she'd been assigned male at birth, but he made peace with it and is heterosexually attracted to a transgender girl. Like lots of other straight guys.
"Christ, Miles, are you trying to figure out the meaning of life or something?" Ganke asks, pausing his video game. Great! He's finally being helpful and volunteering to be sounding board. Miles could use it.
"No, I'm trying to figure out myself."
Ganke presses play on the video game, but Miles finds he doesn't care that Ganke doesn't care.
"See, I like Gwen, right? And she's trans, but that's okay because straight people date trans people all the time." Miles tears his web off the ceiling.
"I don't see the problem," Ganke says, still clicking away at the game.
"But I met this guy named Hobie, and he's really cool. In a different way from Gwen, and I think I like him, too." He squishes the webbing into a ball, grimacing at the way it sticks to his bare fingers.
"And?"
"I might be gay."
"Cool."
"But I can't even think about telling anybody about that right now because that would mean I'm transphobic, because Gwen's a girl, and I like her. So what do I do about that? I don't want to be a transphobic piece of shit, but it seems like I might be." Miles throws the spiderweb-ball across the room, into the garbage can. Perfect shot.
"Dude. Calm down. You're not transphobic. You're bisexual."
"I'm what?"
"You heard me. Attracted to more than one gender."
"That's an option?" This makes so much sense. He's not transphobic, he just likes boys and girls. This is great news. Why hadn't he heard of this disexual thing sooner? Wait, not disexual. Definitely not that.
"Yeah, dipshit. What did you think the B stood for?" Oh. Bisexual. Not disexual. That's so much better.
"I dunno. Never really thought about it."
"What do you mean, you never thought about it?"
"Just didn't."
"You've never even looked it up?"
"I never needed to. All I needed to know was that Gwen was a girl, even though doctors thought otherwise when she was a baby."
"Fair enough, I suppose."
Miles lets Ganke go back to his video game. This is awesome. He can like both of them without being transphobic. This is almost as good as the feeling of not getting killed. Bisexual. He's bisexual. This has solved all his problems. He should tell people. He should tell his parents. He should tell Gwen. And Hobie. Even though that brilliantly handsome Spider-Punk hates labels.
"Shit." Sure, the big problem has gone away, but the core problem remains. He likes both of them. In different ways, but in the end he's still got a crush on both of them.
"I'm not helping you anymore," Ganke says.
"Who should I go for? I like both of them. I can't decide."
"Gwen's really pretty. You should go for the guy."
"That makes no sense."
"If you date the guy, that means I can make my move on Gwen, guilt-free."
Miles lets his arm dangle from the top bunk and shoots a web at Ganke's hand, sticking it to the video game controller. Fucking Ganke. Why does his roommate refuse to be useful twice in a row?